MILT THOMAS

When I met Nick Anderson at C.J. Cannon’s, I thought he was a politician. First of all, this is not Nick Anderson, retired NBA star. The Nick Anderson I am referring to is in the pork business. Naturally, when he said that, I assumed it was code for politician. But then he said no, he raises hogs. Now most people refer to their teenage kids’ appetites that way, but I was wrong again. Nick is a pig farmer from Iowa.

I’m sure he’s had a pork belly full of jokes associated with his profession. “Yeah,” he said, “I’ve heard them all, including that one.”

I asked him what he was doing in Florida and found out he lives here during the winter. “So what do your pigs do for the winter?” I asked.

“They are nice and warm. In the summer, they are comfortably cool. You see, pigs aren’t raised outdoors anymore, because they don’t have that insulating layer of fat.”

 I love pork and I remember years ago that pork chops were thinner and fattier than the ones we buy today. Nick agreed. “We have genetically engineered pigs to make the meat leaner since people are more health conscious today. But by removing the fat layer, we took away the pig’s ability to keep warm in winter and cool in summer. That’s why they are raised in a temperature regulated barn.”

Of course, the terms “pig” and “pig sty” refer more in our culture to a teenager’s bedroom. And  in some religions (Jewish and Muslim primarily), eating pork is forbidden, presumably because of the animal’s dirty reputation. I know pork was always the one meat that had to be cooked thoroughly to prevent diseases like trichinosis.

“Not anymore,” said Nick. “A pig is raised today under almost pristine conditions. Pig barns are surrounded by wide lawns so no critters will come close and track in dirt. All the pig’s waste matter is eliminated through an underground system like a sewer so our barn doesn’t even smell like animals live there. When they are full grown and taken to market, we completely sanitize the entire barn before the next animals are brought in.”

I was amazed to learn that pork can now be eaten like beef or lamb, ordered medium rare at a restaurant. “Yes, whereas we used to cook pork to 165 degrees, it is now okay to take it out of the oven at 145 degrees.  At 145, it is tender and juicy. Otherwise the meat is tough and tasteless.”

I don’t know though. The idea of rare sausage does not make my mouth water. In fact, we were having this discussion over breakfast, so I pushed aside my sausage patty.

In another startling revelation, it seems pig parts are commonly used to replace human parts. “Genetically, we are very similar,” said Nick. “When people have heart valves replaced, it is often a pig’s heart valve. And burn victims are treated with pig skin.”

I said, “That must be why recovering burn victims have an insatiable love of football.”

Nick chuckled. “Hadn’t heard that one.”

Nick and I could only chew the fat a few minutes longer because there wasn’t any left. But now I know that American pork is the safest in the world. It is also the most popular meat in the world, Jews and Muslims notwithstanding.

Later that day I heard about the big news in China, where 6,000 dead pigs were found floating in the river that runs through Shanghai. The government says the water is still perfectly safe to drink. They didn’t say the dead pigs were safe to eat though.

It is comforting to know that with our tight food regulations and expensive pig rearing environment, we will not have to worry about Chinese pork chops anytime soon. However, many questions  still surround the quality of political pork.