COMMENTARY

MILT THOMAS

The other day I received a call asking me if I would be attending the “ezda” meeting. Ezda meeting? That’s actually an acronym for Enterprise Zone Development Agency (EZDA), a county board I served on for eight years. But this was the first time I ever heard the acronym spoken as a word. I have served on the “PLAB” board, which is the Public Library Advisory Board, but that acronym has been always used, even though I think it belittles that important group to make it sound like a baby cereal. PLAB-lum?

We all know NASA (National Aeronautics and Space Administration) and AWOL (Absent without leave – no personal reference there). But acronyms should only be used when the actual name is a mouthful. Take the letters “HTTP” preceding an internet address. It means Hypertext Transfer protocol. That’s a pretty geeky term and HTTP makes it more user friendly.

On the other hand, KFC was once Kentucky Fried Chicken, but they didn’t want to use the word ‘fried’ in today’s anti-glutin, anti-transfat, if-it-isn’t-organic-it-isn’t-worth-eating world.

Acronyms even pervade entertainment. CSI is the most popular show on TV (which by the way is an acronym for television).

One of the first wide uses of an acronym is the word GROG, which everyone knows is Pirate-speak for rum, but it actually stands for “Grand Rum of Grenada.”

Referring to a soldier as a GI, evokes the image of a strong, well-trained and experienced fighting man, whereas “Government Issue,” sounds more like a piece of substandard clothing.

Actually, many of the words forbidden in this column are actually acronyms. You’ll have to check that one out yourself.

Acronyms can have unintended consequences, like Canada’s Conservative Reform Alliance Party – let’s see – C R A… – okay, they figured it out so they changed their name to the Reform Canadian Alliance party.

So, as far as I am concerned, this acronym-ization of our language is out of control, but I’m not trying to be acron-omious.

LOL

A totally unrelated topic I happened upon recently came from a State Department press release. The U.N actually held an Anti-corruption Day celebrating the United Nations Convention against Corruption, which is, according to that press release, “the world’s broadest framework for tackling corruption.” It would have to be broad in order to be ratified by 168 U.N. countries. But isn’t that just about every corrupt nation in the world? Can’t you see the representatives from Nigeria, Afghanistan, Somalia and North Korea signing this document as they compare bribery income receipts?

Finally, there’s that daylong tribute to late South African president Nelson Mandela. Leaders from 80 nations, including four of our former presidents, and many of those above mentioned anti-corruption signatories, attended the tribute and spoke.

Each speaker in the four-hour ceremony, including President Obama, was shown with a government-appointed sign language interpreter standing at his side. The only problem here? The guy (Thamsanqa Jantjie, Mugsy for short) was a fake. Not only that. He’s a schizophrenic fake. Now we find out he was charged with murder ten years ago, so he was a criminal fake!

Standing inches away from the world’s top leaders, he interpreted each speaker’s words, gesticulating confidently and translating those words into a shorthand that only he could understand.

So here’s my question: if the guy can pass through intense security, convince event organizers of his authenticity, and avoid the slightest examination of his mental health or criminal records, why isn’t he a member of the NRA?