COMMENTARY
MILT THOMAS
Sometimes a little levity is a nice change from all the politics and nastiness that goes on around us. So here it is.
I’m sure many of you have probably received similar emails to the following, a good friend stuck in a foreign country urgently in need of cash to come home, asking you to reply back and they will tell you where to send the money:
Sad Trip ……Please Help !
Hello! I’m sorry you’re getting the mail from me at this Point in time, My family and I came down here to Keiv (Ukraine), for a short vacation unfortunately we were mugged at the park of the hotel we stayed, all cash credit cards and cell were stolen off but luckily for us we still have our passports with us. I have been to the embassy and the Police here but they’re not helping issues at all and our flight leaves pretty soon from now but we’re having problems settling the hotel bills and the hotel manager won’t let us leave until we settle the bills. Please be so kind to reply back so I can tell you what to do and how to get some cash to us. I’m freaked out at the moment. NAME
Now, call me crazy, but Ukraine? Really? And mis-spelling Kiev? What kind of traveler is this person who can mis-spell a four letter capitol of the country they are visiting? And a ‘short vacation.” Oh yeah, I’m going to hop on a plane and buzz over to Kiev, Ukraine for a few days – the country where a Maylasian Airliner was blasted from the sky two months ago!
If I told you who this “Sad Trip” email supposedly came from, you would instantly know it is a person in full command of the English language, unlike the person who actually sent it.
Believe it or not, I received two emails that day, from two different friends, stuck in two different countries, both needing immediate cash. They weren’t from the same source because the other one was written by someone with a much better command of the English language. I’m a stickler for such things. If you are going to ask me for money, at least ask it in a way I won’t feel like editing the message and sending it back with an “F.”
And another thing, if you are going to steal someone’s email address and mailing list, or pay someone who already stole it, why not use it more creatively, like saying you saw so and so at a local motel with a woman other than his wife and for a mere, I don’t know, $30, you will keep your mouth shut. But Kiev? Come on.
Indian River Guardian 
Have had a few similar to these emails, but most I’ve received in recent months claim I’ve somehow come into a LOT of money. The catch is I have to open and read the emails – which I don’t. Anymore.
Best one I’ve had recently was somebody who said “I am calling for Publisher’s Clearing House in Brooklyn, New York — do you know where Brooklyn is?” I am calling to say you have won the big prize but you must be at home today so we can deliver $5 1/2 million dollars to you and a brand new Mercedes Benz car. Will you be home?” I asked if they were delivering 5 and a half million in cash and he said “of course. cash.” I said I had a really busy day planned and couldn’t possibly wait for the car and money to arrive, but I assured him it would be safe to leave the cash in the locked trunk and to lock all the doors in the car before dropping the key into my mailbox. Too bad for me – no key in the mail box when I got home, no car in the driveway and no money. Guess I missed my big chance.